• Helping Kids Rise

Why Do So Many Accept the Violent Discipline of Children?

I was in the store the other day and saw something that made me pause. I believe everything in life is an opportunity to learn and this situation was no different. There was a young woman about 25 years old in line ahead of me. A little boy about 6 years old was with her. He seemed like a typical little boy. He was busy, inquisitive, and taking in everything with his round little eyes.

The boy reached for everything his little hands could wrap around and asked his mother if he could have it. Her response each time was “no”. This went on about two to three minutes and with about 5 different items. The mother was obviously getting frustrated with each inquiry. The boy asked one more time, this time, for candy.

His mother’s response is what caused me to pause. She said Listen here motherf*****! You got some money? NO! I said no and I mean no. You aint gettin a god**** thing out this store. You get on my fu*king nerves always beggin for sh**! Put it back before I knock the he** out of you!

Spanking Children

The little boy didn’t bat an eye. He wasn’t the least bit offended or scared by his mother’s response. In fact, I was more nervous than he was and I didn’t have anything to do with it!

The boy did put the candy back, but a couple minutes later, guess what happened? You guessed it - He asked for something else (soda). His mother simply rolled her eyes and sucked her teeth. I assumed she had used all of energy on that first rant and was too exhausted to go for another round.

My mind quickly began to race with questions. What makes a parent use that kind of language with their children? Is this normal child rearing behavior? Her tactics didn’t even work because the boy continued the same behavior, so what was the use in it? I wonder how this will affect the young boy’s psyche, confidence, and his mental-development as a whole.

I have a close friend who is a child advocate and social worker. She says children’s actions reflect what’s in their souls. When children are belittled through abusive language from the people who are supposed to love them, their souls are being filled with hate and anger.

They grow into elementary, middle, and high school students whose actions reflect that hate and anger. Eventually, if that hate and anger are not overcome with some kind of positivity, they become adults whose actions reflect hate and anger. Their self-love and confidence never had any room to grow.

Words are powerful. Once they have left your lips, it’s nearly impossible to erase their effects. Choose your words wisely, especially when it comes to impressionable minds and the people we love. Try to find less demeaning ways to express your disappointment with someone. Give everyone, including yourself, room to grow, learn, and rise.

What do you think about the mom’s reaction to her son’s “beggin”?



Why speaking gently to our kids is even more important in the era of Black Lives Matter by Alicia B over at Baby and Blog

#words #children #parents #love #mother #spanking #discipline